With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, it is likely that we all will spend a lot of time in the upcoming weeks thinking about love. All too often, when we think about love, we only legitimize romantic love. Love is a multi-faceted emotion that covers a broad scope; therefore, there are many kinds of love that can be just as fulfilling.
It is important to remember that love comes in many different shapes in sizes when creating characters who love. To create well-rounded characters, they should be experiencing love on many different fronts, not just romantic love. Even though love shown through friendship or familial love is not as widely popularized in modern media, it is equally as valid to the development of your character as romantic love.
By allowing your characters to become consumed by passionate love, you risk neglecting other kinds of love that are more accessible and realistic. The ancient Greeks believed that there were seven different kinds of love, but I think of those there are three kinds that would do well to appear in your story.
- Eros
Eros is a kind of love that is more akin to our modern ideas on romantic love. Eros received its name from the Greek goddess of fertility. It encompasses feelings of passion and desire. Interestingly, while this is an idealized form of love in today’s world, the Greeks did not hold it in such a high esteem. In fact, Eros was viewed as a dangerous, irrational form of love that possesses you and causes you to act in unreasonable and foolish ways.
- Philia
The cornerstone of philia is shared goodwill. Aristotle believed that there were only three reasons why a person could bear goodwill to another: that he is useful; that he is pleasant; and, above all, that he is good, that is, rational and virtuous. Therefore, this kind of love is about showing loyalty, being willing to sacrifice and share emotion with one’s friends. Philia is a kind of love that the Greeks valued far above Eros. (Another kind of philia, sometimes called storge, embodies the love between parents and their children.)
- Agape
Agape is the love that we might feel for a stranger, nature or God. Today, we refer to agape as altruism. Acts of altruism are proven to provide several benefits. It is associated with better mental and physical health. More generally, altruism, or agape, helps to build and maintain the psychological, social, and, indeed, environmental fabric that shields, sustains, and enriches us.
